(film review) - Skyline

This could quite possibly be one of my shortest reviews ever. It's shit. The End. Only joking. Well on the fact that this is the end of the review anyway, but in regards to the film, hmmmm. The storyline seemed interesting. The special effects from a low budget film were standard and well, ummm....well, what you see in the trailer is more or less the film.
Imagine, Cloverfield. A film shot in 'Found Footage' style and because of the "EVENT" and what is going on, no one is none-the-wiser as to what is going on at all, so the film finishes and you leave the cinema thinking "WTF...what was all that about!?! What were their purpose? etc, etc" Well, we didn't need found footage for this film. Not to say that style was used, but I actually got NOTHING from the film to really detail and explain about it. It literally was like watching Cloverfield and thinking the same thing when it ended. But Cloverfiled IMO is 10 times much better.

I'll give you the plot if you haven't already read it somewhere.

Jarrod (Eric Balfour) and his girlfriend, Elaine (Scottie Thompson) fly to L.A to celebrate Terry's (Donald Faison) birthday. The morning after the party turns out to be more than just a hangover for one guy when blue sphere type lights come down from the skies striking different locations of the city and once he looks into it, he falls into a trance and gets abducted.
While all this is happening, Jarrod also succombs to the light but is torn away from it by Terry. Jarrod and friends then try to escape the building via means of a car that manages to get crushed by a huge alien foot and the driver doesn't get off lightly. After some running, more confrontation, more running, some brains and waiting, then it is day 2. Day 2 consists of more action and some U.S cavalry and a nuke. That all goes to shit and then the film does too, straight after, IMO it just coming FROM shit. Day 1 was boring for me.

There were some funny bits and that was about it. The story wasn't explained, the characters weren't in the film long enough for you to feel any kind of feelings towards them and it ends in such a way, it makes you question yourself. It's like, a good film with an interesting story which was poorly executed. Maybe things were edited out, maybe the Brothers Strause's have other ideas. I don't know. What I do know is...don't rush to see this, wait for DVD/Blu Ray or stream it. You ain't missing anything. Get ready for Battle: LA instead. Hopefully that will be much better.

(film review) - Paranormal Activity 2

There was only ONE film that made me feel uncomfortable. That kind of uncomfortable where it's borderline violation. Where for a moment during the preview of the film, you take into account the emptied seats, the aiery feeling and you can actually hear your heart beating. The silence is so quiet that if you focused, you could probably hear someone breathing. Just hope that the person you hear is either YOU or a living breathing and speaking person your sat next to because that chill down your spine will make you think otherwise. That was 6th Sense for me. A brilliant film but a few things in that film just made me feel very uncomfortable. This film is similar.

Maybe it's the fact that you see what's happening but can't see what is doing it because Michael Myers, Jason Vorheez, Daniel Robitaille and Freddy Kruger were very visable. I don't know.

Without spoiling the film too much, all I can say that this film is very much like the first one but although I found the first one funny and not that scary, I believe this one raises the bar. I weren't scared but I was slightly uncomfortable. Maybe it's because I've seen a film of this nature before (also shot in 'Found Footage' style and also with the use of security cameras) I knew what to expect and look out for. In saying that the film still had me transfixed onto the screen and not wanting to move to miss a beat. There were some uncool things in this film which also explores people ignorance which in the end, got the better of the characters, just like the first film.

Just so you know, the film is about a woman, her husband, her little sister and her baby who have just moved into this big house and after a burglary install security camera to keep them secure/safe. However, although warned by the family nanny that the house might be haunted, after they get rid of the nanny, funny and odd things start to happen when noises are heard and the dog keeps barking.
And just so you know, you don't actually need to see Paranormal Activity 1 before you see 2, but after seeing 2, you might want to see 1. If you can stomach it, that is.

Good film. Go see it. In the cinema now.

(film review) - Takers

Sorry, but first things first. I like hayden Christensen as an actor. Maybe it's because I'm a Star Wars fan (not THAT much into it like going to conventions, just the story), but his acting in that was excellent. He wasn't seen as young Anakin in this film so I weren't expecting him to draw a Lightsabre or anything. If you seek my older reviews, I did one on Jumper and that was an watchable film that lacked storyline. With that said, it is kind of like this film. And his character kept wear this dodgy hat, ALL THE TIME!

Anyway, this film is about a bunch of, well.....Takers and if you didn't already guess, they TAKE things that don't belong to them. Now we aren't talking about Sweets, CD's, DVD's or Cassettes, we are talking CASH MONEY and a lot of it. In the Millions and Billions. They work as a unit. Smart, effective, quick, precise and they always leave NO evidence or paper-trail. In and Out!

In a heist a few years back, Gordon Cozier (Idris Elba) leads his crew which ends up with Ghost (T.I.) a former member going to jail for 5 years when things go wrong. After getting out early on good behaviour, coincidently the same day the crew do a major heist which leaves Jack Welles (Matt Dillon) and Eddie Hatcher (Jay Hernandez), investigating, Ghost pays John (Paul Walker) a visit, drinks scotch and talks about a new heist that he wants done in no more in what would seem like a few hours of his release. John says he will speak to the crew about it and let him know in the morning.
Being the persistant guy that he is, Ghost gate crashes a party and starts giving it the, 'I'm the man you need in your life' to his former girlfriend who is now with one of his crew members, Jake (Michael Ealy). Although he says that he harbours no ill feelings for the crew leaving him to get caught and him serving time and now Jake has his former girlfriend, there is nothing but tension in the air.
Ghost lays out his plans and as long as everything seems do-able, the team agree to do the heist make off with the money and give Ghost what he was owed from the heist that sent him to jail plus the accumulated interest. However, the heist goes very wrong and although they make off with the money, Jack spots Jesse (Chris Brown) in the subway which ends up being one of the best chase scenes I've ever seen on camera. They all meet up later on in a hotel after a "successful" heist but then someone has other plans.

The film was an enjoyable watch. If your a man looking for action, it has it. If your looking for a lovely female too, Lily (Zoe Saldana) is too hot. She didn't even do or say much in the film but she is sexy enough to just rock a frock and make you forgive the fact that her lines were short. Plus females (as i went with a female), all the men are hot, apparently and with a storyline that isn't too terrible, you won't complain watching this film.
The only bit you would complain about would be the scene that has Jesse and Jake in it. I can't think of a word to describe that scene that would be radio friendly.
The funniest bit had to be Ghost's commentary during the heist where he depicts everything what is happening through his headset to the rest of the crew. And like I said before, Jesse's chase scene had me on the edge of my seat. For Chris Brown's first film I've seen him in, he weren't a bad actor at all.

Watch this film, I'm sure you will enjoy as it has something for everyone. For me, it was Zoe Saldana.

(film review) - The Town

Nobody knows who Ben Affleck is other than the guy who married J-Lo aka Jennifer Lopez aka Jenny from the Block who was once with Puff Daddy, but whatever, who is he otherwise? Oh, the guy who starred in that dry Marvel film, Dare Devil? Hmmm...well, I wouldn't have gone out my way to see this film as it starred him and well, he ain't one of my best actors at all. Very far from that he ain't even on the list. If he was, well, he would be near the guy who plays Ben Mitchell on Eastenders.
Jokes and humour aside, whatever I thought of Mr. Affleck before this film, he has raised the bar. Still not a favourite actor but this film was a very good watch and with him in it AND his acting, well I have to recommend this sleeper of a film.

This film is about four lifelong friends who rob a bank and take Claire Keesey (Rebecca Hall) as a hostage. After the hostage is released and freed, James "Jem" Coughlin (Jeremy Renner) goes to follow her and possibly kill her, being the loose cannon he is. Doug MacRay (Ben Affleck) tells him 'No' and that he will instead, only to pretend that he is doing laundry, to then come to her comfort as she thinks about her hostage situation. They talk and meet a few times in which she says that she recognises one of the criminals by a tattoo. This turns out to be Jem. But keeping one step ahead of the law and from Claire, Dough, Jem, Albert "Gloansy" Magloan (Slaine), and Desmond "Dez" Elden (Owen Burke) enlist on another job for 'Fergie' Colm (Pete Postlethwaite), the man they work for so they he can leave town for good. The job goes a little wrong which leads to a car chase scene that has them trying to get away to only meet another police car at every other corner.

Narrowly escaping the law, Doug, now in a deeper relationship with Claire, visits his father in prison which leads to Doug finding out the truth about his mother. He tells his father that he is leaving Charlestown and also tells Jem who tells him that there is another job and he must do it since Jem has served time for him. Doug still says 'NO' and goes to Fergie to tell him in person that he isn't doing any more jobs. Fergie taunts Doug about the death of his mother and that he supplied his mother with drugs & threatens to kill his girlfriend, unless he does the job.

Doug excepts this job but tells him that it is his last. The plan is to enter the building as officers but leave as Ambulance assistants but Doug is set up and there is a huge shoot out in the end as SWAT has surrounded the entire building.

This was a fresh watch for me and was very entertaining. At some points, it was hilarious. A funny bit was where the gang got out their vehicle dressed up as nuns with guns and as they looked across the road, a police car was just there with the police man just looking over in shock eating a donut.

This is a creeper of a film and touches on love, trust, lies and deceit. Watch it, you will like it. Peek the Trailer:

(film review) - Inception

This is a film you may need to see twice, but if you generally understand the concept, then you'll pay attention through the whole film and still ask yourself the inevitable question at the end.

That question is, "so, was it real or was it a dream?"

A lot of people have their pwn interpretation of the film and some would say that it was real and wasn't a dream. Some people would say it was a dream. Me on the other hand, I'm just going to remain quiet until I can see it again.

This film is nothing from short, nothing from linear, nothing from simple and nothing from half-arsed! When I say Christopher Nolan makes a film, what I mean by that is, from screen direction to music, everything just seems epic.

Just to give you an idea of the film. Dom Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) designed a machine that enables himself and his partner Arthur (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), to perform corporate espionage by entering the subconscious minds of their targets, using two-level "dream within a dream" strategies to "extract" valuable information. As "extractors" they carry a "totem" which has a special and personalized behaviour which is only known to the owner. This object is used to determine if they are within another person's dream.

The problem is, you may not know if your are in a dream or not. Behaviour patterns change within people or the "reality so, if you feel you are in a dream, you'd take out your totem and use it to determine reality. Dom wants to extract information from Cillian Murphy but needs a new Architect because an architect with personal issues will never be able to get the tasks done. This problem arises after Dom teaches a young gifted and smart architect how to think outside the box and manipulate their dreams but then realise that a certain woman keeps appearing in every inception. This is Dom's Angry wife. So as well as Dom trying to fight his own personal demon's and reach his main goal, he has to uncover the truth and also gain his goal the best way he can without too much trouble. Obviously, there is much more complications that arise when you are in someone's dream who realises they are dreaming. Moreover, when you are not in control of the dream and other people are.

This is a definate MUST WATCH! Even buy it on video if you have too.

(Film Review) - Predators

I'm old school. I saw the very first Predator film. It was scary. I was young though. It starred Arnold Schwartzenegger, had Bill Duke in it, as he was the very few notable black faces back then and they were out stuck in the jungle, somewhere and there must have been 12 of them or so getting picked off, one-by-one like target practice by an unknown assailant. THAT was predator. THAT was where it all started. THAT was scary. But with Hollywood trying to create suspense, thrillers, horrors, etc and often getting it wrong, they can only resort to remaking films that don't need remaking and making them completely and utterly crap.

This film on the other hand attempts to mimic the very first film and doesn't do too bad, per say.

The film for me was engaging as it does start off with the lead character Royce (Adrien Brody) waking up finding himself falling from the sky and landing in this Jungle. For me that was pretty random, but I guess, there have been weirder ways to start a film, right? Anyway, he wonders about and bumps into a few other people, Mexican drug cartel enforcer Cuchillo (Danny Trejo), Spetsnaz soldier Nikolai (Oleg Taktarov), Israel Defense Forces sniper Isabelle (Alice Braga), Revolutionary United Front officer Mombasa (Mahershalalhashbaz Ali), death row inmate Stans (Walton Goggins), Yakuza enforcer Hanzo (Louis Ozawa Changchien), and doctor Edwin (Topher Grace) and then realises that the group of people are all in this "jungle" for a specific reason as they all have some kind of "background" which eventually lands them there. It is also noted that, they aren't even on earth.
It's not long until they are forced to band together and work as a team, to help fight attacking creatures and whatever is out there picking them off one by one. However, in saying that, there has to be that odd character that doesn't want to co-operate and act like a complete idiot to only get that 'Victory' kill. The one where you cheer loudly or in the inside saying, 'That fool had it coming'.
They wonder about some more until they bump into a man Noland (Laurence Fishburne), an air assault soldier who has survived on the planet for years by scavenging and hiding in an abandoned structure. He explains that the Predators sharpen their killing skills by collecting warriors and dangerous beasts from other worlds and bringing them to the planet to hunt and there is also a tiff going on between the predators. The Big ones verse the Small Ones. I don't know what to make of that, really...but the bigger predators did look really cool. Properly like, "Wow, what big teeth you have, predator guy-thing".
Not to spoil too much, the film has one or two more unexpected additions/twists and then ultimately ends on a satisfied note. Well I was satisfied. I couldn't help change facial expressions with a scene in the film in which I thought was unnecessary and cheesy, but other than that, it was a good watch.

I'll end this with, it's not Alien(s) or Alien 3 and it's not the Aliens vs Predator or Predator 2. It's more Predator, less tangy and a slice of cheese. Good watch.

(film review) - 4,3,2,1

Now if you know who Noel Clarke is, well he is a bit of a grinder. I say this because it is only now that I have seen him on THIS grind to be as far as to where he is now. Not only has he been in TV Shows such as The Bill, Casualty, Doctors and even Doctor who, he is also getting around in film. Smart guy (unless he was born with lots of money), saved the funds and made a very iconic and memorable film called Kidulthood in which he wrote. After the success of that, Adulthood in which he wrote, directed and produced and he has basically been on a role hopping in and out of directing, co-directing, writing and acting in many films. However, this isn't about him, this is about his film he wrote, co-produced and co-directed.

If you have seen Vantage point then you will understand how this film goes. Like Vantage point, this is one story, but instead of spiralling around 7 people; only around 4. 7 was bad....it got long winded. Anyway, so the story begins with Joanne (Emma Roberts) feels that she can't get a break. She is chained down in a dead end supermarket job while her friends are all out having fun and doing exciting things. Her friend Cassandra has been talking to a guy over the internet and is getting ready to jet off to New York to meet her "Internet" boyfriend. Another friend, Kerrys is a no-holds barred one woman army on a female crusade fighting for female liberation and Shannon plays the leading role who is a girl who lives with her separated dad and has a lot of problems of her own. The craziness erupts when Diamond thieves sends their separate worlds on a collision course with not only each other, but fate itself. Not only do these 4 girls have to deal with their own problems they are about to have 3 days to discover the truth behind their problems spanning 2 cities and for all of them, around one central problem starter, The Diamonds.

The film is watchable and not only is it consistent, it does keep you intrigued as to how different these four girls lives are and what they get up to in their spare time. Sometimes you can judge a book by it's cover and often in society if not all the time, people do this, but only if people knew what the other person was going through and we often took the time to listen to each other and read between the lines, we could solve a lot of problems before it is too late. This film touches on that in a nice way as every girl has an issue at home and is something that all teenagers and adults alike can relate to. The fact that rapper Eve was in this film did knock me for 6 when I saw her, but her role wasn't that important, more interesting if anything but then that WAS the general idea with the film. A lot of things happen behind closed doors or over the internet behind screen monitors. Trust me, it might have been funny to watch in this film, but have you seen Gamer, with Gerald Butler?

Not a film you will feel was the best watch of your life, the year or even a minute so maybe not even a DVD purchase, but if you want a close to reality English drama, this would be right there in the ranks of Kidulthood and Adulthood. Interesting, decent acting, realistic although a touch outlandish but worthy to put in that collection of yours. Go see it.

(Film Review) Iron Man 2

Tony Stark: "I am Iron Man". Wow! What a way to end a film, eh? Then if you stayed to the end of the credits, you were treated to a short scene starring Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) and Tony Stark/Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) where Nick Fury talks to Tony about The 'Avenger Initiative'. Exciting right? More films, yaaay! Avenger's what? I'm sure your happy nonetheless. So, word on a new Iron Man film featuring side-kick War Machine must have got some people sooo hyped up they accidently excreted on themselves.

Anyway, just before I go into this, Terrence Howard should have kept to being 'James Rupert Rhodes', I'm pretty sure he could have made a pretty penny from some sequels and maybe his own film, but hey....whatever really. Someone is Laughing somewhere.

Now that the world knows Tony Stark is Iron Man, he is still seemingly, untouchable. Senator Stern wants the Iron Man suit for the U.S Government, but although it might have deemed a super idea to fight crime and terrorism throughout the world, Tony Stark refuses, knowing that his suit in the wrong hands will be dangerous.
In the mean time, Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell) tracks down Ivan Vanko (Mickey Rourke) who was apprended after he pulled a stint at the Circuit de Monaco whilst Stark was driving, caught him off-gaurd and well, almost killed him. Might I just add here that, Tony Stark has a portable Iron Man suit which is dressed up as a Briefcase. That scene was just exciting.

So, after lapsing at his own party, a very drunk Tony Stark upsets his pal Rhodey who then puts on the "other" suit and they have an Iron Fist-de-cuff which results in Iron Man getting his Arse whooped and Rhodey stealing the suit. Given to the Milatary who tamper with the suit and buy Arms from Justin Hammer, they make the other suit into a War Machine and with Ivan working with Justice Hammer, he makes an amy of Super Robots both, Navy, Air Force and Military to be programmed to kill Tony Stark led by an in-house player.

All a bit much, right? Well I can assure you that this film was interesting, exciting, but short. Maybe not even short as in length-wise, but the fight scenes just didn't seem long enough. I know it's Iron Man, but he was barly battered from pillar to post.

i thoroughly enjoyed this film and left the cinema thinking, that was great. But when you thought the film through, you wanted more, expected more and well, although War Machine WAS more and there WAS more enemies if you want to include the drones; it just didn't seem like it was enough. I wanted to leave the cinema thinking, The Invincible Iron Man, but I never.

You'll enjoy this anyway. Funny where it needs to be, serious where it needs to be and also, incase you didn't know, wait till AFTER the credits. The Film actually stars TWO Hammer's. Think about it.

(film review) - Kick Ass

Hahaha hahaha...Now this was a good film. Just so you understand, I had NO IDEA what this film was about. Spider-Man? Batman? Green Lantern? Some silly teen movie with something random like superheroes and making the film a whole lot shittier than the idea of making 'Blood & Chocolate' a film? Well, I give you this for free; The film is different! VERY DIFFERENT!

Ok, so no-one other than Nicholas Cage is in this film that you'd recognise unless your a die-hard fan of certain actors. I didn't know who the frig was the leading guy, only Mark Strong and that skinny dorky guy in 'Role Models?', Christopher Mintz-Plasse.

Anyway, this is a film about a geeky teenager, Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson), who wonders why nobody has actually tried to become a superhero. He wants to have a purpose and wants to fight crime because there is too much craziness in his neighbourhood. Very noble thing to do right? Especially when comic books are the comic books and he has NO SUPERHUMAN POWERS OR TRAINING. Like I said, Very Noble. Well, after looking into it and even buying a costume from ebay, this young lad goes out to fight crime and ends up getting his arse kicked, badly. The incident actually left me with my mouth wide open. I didn't see this coming at all.

Kids, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!!

Enduring a painful recovery from his ordeal, Dave, still wants to continue his heroism when he finds out that Katie Deauxma (Lyndsy Fonseca), who he has had a crush on for years is interested in him because she thinks he is gay.
After getting his arse kicked, AGAIN, by a bunch of robbers, he is caught on a camera phones and becomes a hero. People start to praise him and his video footage on youtube becomes the most viewed which leads him to start up a myspace account for people to contact him.

Things then get grisly when Dave tries to do something about a Drug Dealer who has been harassing Katie, but when things go belly up, he is saved by Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage) and Hit-Girl(Chloë Moretz). Big Daddy turns out to be a former police officer who had been framed by Frank D'Amico (Mark Strong), a local crime kingpin and has his own personal vendetta against him. When Frank thinks Dave is responsible for the fall of one of his businesses, he makes Dave his personal responsibility to eradicate him himself but when that doesn't work, his son Chris, (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) suggests another way. Chris aka Red Mist gets close to Dave, gains his trust and then delivers him to his fathers goons which basically spells the end of Kick-Ass.

I won't go into any more of this as I don't want to spoil it, however, this film was different to any other superhero film you have seen with teenagers in it. I mean, what you see in this film is NOT what you will see in the Spider-Man Trilogy, maybe the new Batman but not Spider-Man or IronMan for that matter. This film is a little grittier than you expect.

A few scenes will leave you shocked, so be prepared, but like I said in the very beginning, this film is VERY DIFFERENT! Expect Part 2 to be better. I mean, they can only make it better, right?
Very enjoyable. Out now. When it comes out on DVD, get it as well.

(film review) - Shutter Island.

I don't even know where to start with this as now that I have seen it and I'm trying to get my head around it. I'm still baffled and/orconfused on certain elements of the film. One thing I got to say first is, Ben Kingsley and Leonardo DiCaprio; Great performances. Anyway, here goes nothing.

Leonardo DiCaprio plays a U.S. Marshal Edward "Teddy" Daniels who takes on an assignment with his new partner, Chuck Aule, Mark Ruffio to look for a multiple murderess Rachel Solando on Shutter Island, the home of Ashecliffe Hospital for the Criminally Insane. Rachel Solando is presumed missing as she has escaped her cell and apparently the desolate barren island, despite having been kept in a locked cell under lock and key and constant supervision. As Edward and chuck try to look for clues and retrieve information which may uncover her whereabouts, Ed discovers that not only is he experiencing migraines and having bad dreams that surround the death of his wife, the hospital staff seem unwilling to co-operate or co-operate to an extent but not enough to actually help. Furious and angry, Ed tries to leave with chuck because he feels that he is getting nowhere fast, but ends up being caught in a storm which leaves them stranded on the island until it passes.

Making sure that although he is on the island, not at his own will, he then tries to give it a second try and attempts to uncover the mysteries of the disappearance, his hallucinations, the involvement of certain governing officials and question the trust of his newly appointed partner.

As things aren't making any sense, the story unravels questioning loyalty, trust and secrets. Why was Ed sent to that mental institute? Why did they pair him up with an unknown partner? Why doesn't any of the wardens or higher ranking staff seem to not help him in his findings, especially as they requested help!? With all of that, Ed tries to also figure out why he seems to keep having hallucinations and migraines and what are the twisted secrets that include experimentations on patients?

This film is beautifully crafted. I mean, how do you speak and take advice from someone who is mentally unstable? You'll find your watching intently trying to unravel the mystery and questioning all the characters with what is real and what isn't.
To say this isn't a film with a twist would be silly. It seems that Leonardo DiCaprio likes films with a twist to them.

I can't really say much more about this film but you must watch it. A most definite watch. Out Now.

(film review) - Alice In Wonderland

Everyone knows the story of Alice in Wonderland! If you don't, where have you been? I mean, really? It's basically about a girl called Alice who ends up in a crazy world where a weird headed tyrant queen, who chops off heads of anyone who upsets her, a cat that floats, disappears and re-appears at will and a crazy man called the 'Mad Hatta' who is a little bit barmy. Not to mention a smoking catapilla and two dim-witted twins that are as dumb as each other. This is a crazy world where drinks make you shrink in size and food makes you grow in height.

If you know who Tim Burton is, you will know what to expect from this film. A dark, gloomy, maybe a bit twisted kind of film and well, to be honest, although it was a very colouful film, with that Tim Burton magic all over it, I got to say, I wasn't as happy with the outcome of this film as apparently, the film was labelled 'Alice in Wonderland' but was more based on all 3 novels which involves Alice. So I was fairly surprised when the Mad Hatter was, well, not as MAAAAD as I thought he was going to be. I thought he was going to be like, mad crazy and totally insane like, but he wasn't.
A lot of people liked it and well my faults with the film were that the Mad Hatter wasn't barmy enough and why wasn't it Alice's first time down the hole. They could have done that in the film or at least had shown it in the opening credits like how they did with Wolverine.

The Special Effects were good and could not be faulted. The acting was fairly decent too, but on a whole, I was just disappointed on how it was promoted to what actually happened. I felt Johnny Depp has had a better acting role in 'Pirates of the Caribbean' and i felt he was under-used due to the fact that I expected more from his character. Who stole the lime light and I thought was absolute class, was Anne Hathaway. How her character was portrayed literally had me in stitches.

This is a good film watch if you love Johnny Depp, Tim Burton films or even Matt Lucas as he is quite funny. The story isn't THAT bad and the special effects carry the film nicely. With a few note worth characters and a concept that seems to be, a girl lost in a land full of drug addicts, if you bare that in mind, you will love this film.

Out now, go watch it.

(Vintage Film Reviews) - Jumper

Hayden Christensen plays (David Rice) a young man who discovers how to teleport (Jump) from one place to another in an instant. As this abnormality makes him and others like him different, they are seen as superior, God-Like, as it were and tracked down to be killed. David then discovers that there has been a raging war that has been going on for centuries between the 'Jumpers' and the 'Paladins', led by Samuel L. Jackson (Roland Cox) in the mist of just getting into doing whatever he wants, whenever. After shortly discovering this, he has to then fend off the Paladins and save himself and his love interest.

This film isn't a blockbuster at all, but is a very good watch. Samuel's character is sinister and if you have not seen him in arole like this, you'd be pleasantly surprised. Hayden also acts well in this film, but i think the hat comes off to Billy Elliott star, Jamie Bell (Griffin), who i believe his role steals the show and the lime light from Hayden.

The locations in this film will make anyone who likes to travel want to travel to these places. We see Rome, The Grand Canyon, London, Egypt and Tokyo among many more. The fight scenes also take us across the world and the road in a matter of seconds and also add that little extra sense of 'the world is your oyster' kind of thing. However, the dazzling special effects may leave you a little dizzy.

If you enjoy a Samuel L. Jackson film, then this is something for you. No powerful statements though. You are bound to enjoy as there is a good storyline, however, the length and ending may disappoint. Another disappointing thing about the film is the character development. Maybe they will explain a bit more, later.

14th February 2009 at 09:45pm

(Vintage Film Reviews) - Alien Vs Preditor: Requiem

Who remembers Predator? Good, alie? Do you also remember Predator 2? Weren't that bad was it? And all the Alien films? Good as well, weren't they? (I actually haven't seen Alien Resurrection properly, so i can't really comment on that). Alien Vs Predator, well...was it good? Do you remember it? Have you even seen it? I have and unfortunately, I have erased it from memory. For those who have seen it will possibly remember the pure, unadulterated cheddar cheese ending as the building or whatever was exploding and the female and the predator was running away in slow motion like a scene from Baywatch.

NO!!!! Predator or Alien for that matter is not cheesy. What were they thinking of?

The sequel on the other hand is good. The Trailer doesn't show too much of the action, so you can actually watch the film and not feel disappointed.

This film, if you didn't know is the Sequel to Predator 1, 2 and Alien Vs Predator and the Prequel to all the Alien films. The film starts days after the ending of Alien Vs Predator where a Predator is giving birth to an Alien (Predalien). This ultimately gives this new Alien a Unique look. Buckhead and Dreads in tow. After the birth of the Alien, the ship in which a few Predators are on board, crash lands on Earth and then this is when all hell breaks loose.

Without spoiling the film too much, there isn't a lot of people you meet that actually survives, as everyone and everything in this film meets it's untimely demise once the predator ship crash lands.
The film has some bad acting and a few corny lines, but is a very good watch. The storyline isn't anything. This film does not need a storyline as Predators hunt Aliens and judging by the first AVP, this is a continuation. This film is about survival from two separate species that are fighting each other. Also, this is not for the squirmish as there were a few disturbing scenes in which some if not all women expecting will not enjoy.

Enjoyable watch.

13th February 2008 at 11:39pm

(Vintage Film Review) - Cloverfield

With what we already know about the film, i.e. in most cases, nothing. You actually leave the cinema experience not much different from before you stepped in. However, i must say, this was not a rubbish film to watch.

You follow a video fly-on-wall, documentary in which you meet and follow one person and his friends through an unforgetable experience all caught through one video camera. From when the film starts, it does not take very long until the action starts and does not end. If you watch the film to the very end, you'd understand.

This film is a disaster movie and not for the squirmish. Without giving the film away too much. I can only say what has been said by movie reviewers and that is, it is a cross between Godzilla and the Blair Witch Project.

The film is done in a way that is just like the Blair Witch Project, however, with some "Thing" running around lose in New York City (as per usual). This is NOT your one man takes on all odds kind of film. You can expect casualties in abundance, buildings toppling over and well....you know, your average blockbuster film like Independence day or Godzilla filmed from just a random guy from the public with his friends and a lot of battery power in his little camcorder, which captures an event that passes and doesn't actually seem to stop.

Acting was flawless and because of the way the film was shot, you can't help to feel involved and actually in the film. It's not like your watching a movie with actors playing people (in which you are), but it is like your actually in the film and what you watched was a close friend of yours or someone you knew or heard of in the real world.

This film is deep. This film is different. This film is Cloverfield and you should watch it.

2 February 2008 at 01:08pm

(Vintage Film Reviews) - Blood & Chocolate

This film is based on a Novel of the same name. It stars Agnes Bruckner as Vivian, a young woman living in Romania after her parents were killed when she was a little girl. She stays with her Aunt and does a spot of, what seems to be 'Free-running' and makes Chocolate.
Her Aunt was a mate of the wolf pack's leader, Gabriel. They had a Son called Rafe and due to pack law, Gabriel has to find a new mate every 7 years. Also, there is a prophecy that a female loup-garou will lead all loup-garou into the age of hope and Gabriel thinks this wolf will be Vivian, and for this reason he wants to marry her.

To add to the story, an artist called Aiden who writes graphic novels, falls in love with Vivian after bumping into her in a church they had both broken into at different times, one night for different reasons. He so happens to be studying the loup-garou for his novels and is intrigued by Vivian's beauty and follows her for days before they start to see each other. They end up meeting secretly until Vivian's cousin Rafe catches them with his gang and tells Gabriel who then orders him and his gang to get Aiden out of the city, even if they have to kill him as he is obviously a distraction to the master plan.

After a bit of a scrap, Aiden accidentally kills Rafe in self defense in which leads to the entire wolf pack out to kill him and Vivian to the rescue to save the man she loves.

I did very well to get this far in this review. At least i gave you guys a review, because this film is so poor, i only stayed to watch the film to the very end to see how cheesy it was going to get. You can watch cheese and be like, 'ok, that was cheesy', when you think that can't be beaten for the pure unadulterated cheddar cheese that it was, this film proves you wrong, time and time again.
Although this is meant to be a romantic film, possibly soppy to some people, i have seen better romantic films. This film was just whack. Don't even read the title out loud when you see it. The film isn't even worth that. The film could have been much better and what made it worst, from the same people who brought us Underworld, how did this film manage to have such poor special effects.
There is a part where these wolf people turn into wolves and it was like someone flashed a torch and the person changed from human appearance to wolf creature.

Rubbish
10 May 2007 at 08:47am

(Vintage Film Reviews) - Hot Fuzz

Dependent on your humour, this film is quite possibly one of the funniest films you would see this year!
This film stars the same actors from 'Shaun of the Dead' Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.

The films main hero is a Police Officer called Nicholas Angel from the London Met who is a Police officer who is well and truely, DEDICATED!!!! He is the kind of officer who pulls out all stops and goes that extra mile. Nicholas Angel is so good at his job and dedicated, his police department "promotes" him to another town in england because he makes them look bad.
This town is called Sandford, where the "crime" rate is so high, that they need a police officer like him to clear it up and bring peace back to the town. The town needs an officer like Nicholas Angel to teach their officers how to take care of situations.
The town seems 'crime-less' and is so small in comparison to London, that everyone knows everyone who is anyone and who is sleeping with who, what for and why. It is a town so small that, crime, doesn't actually happen and if it does, it is an accident or are several otherwise unnoticeable crimes and misdemeanors, in short order (such as shoplifters, underage drinkers and a farmer storing a huge supply of illegal weapons in his barn).
Also, being partnered with a well-meaning but overeager and naive police constable Daniel "Danny" Butterman, the son of the local police chief Inspector Frank Butterman, and a committed action movie fan, things don't half get better for Nicholas Angel. And with the thoughts that Danny believes that his new big-city partner, Nicholas Angel, might just be a real-life policing bad boy, just like Bad Boys the film, with Car Chases and guns blazing, Danny is over the moon to be his partner and is itching to buss a cap in someone's.....you get the point.

Grisly "accidents" soon start to occur and are then linked to a hooded figure. Who is this figure? Why is the town so closed-circuit? and why is it that, Simon "Sissy" Skinner, the charming but sinister manager of the local Somerfield supermarket, always seem to be around the crime scene with something smart to say? Angel suspects him of murdering the victims due to their involvement in a lucrative property deal, but that doesn't go down very well with the town's people and having already clashed with all members of his police force, things aren't going down to well for Nicholas Angel as he is already in a town where nobody likes him along with finding the town difficult to adjust to.
However, despite all this, Nicholas is the only one who can bring an end to all the chaos that is going on in the town.

This film is funny. There is hand to hand combat, guns, car chases, secrets, lies and all sorts of craziness to make you think, 'shut up, man had that in his barn?'. When the action came, it was decently paced, realistic (to an extent) and most of all, was hilarious.

10th May 2007 at 06:57am

(Vintage Film Reviews) - Spiderman 3

Spider-Man - Up to speed.

Spider-Man is about a young nerdy student called Peter Parker, who gets bitten by a genetically modified super spider, who then inherits spider-like credentials. He has super human strength, is able to spin/form webs from his hands, stick to walls and has a 'spider-sense' that warns him from forthcoming danger.

After his Uncle dies in an attack Peter feels responsible for, he vows to use his powers for the good of mankind.



Spider-Man 1

The first film explores Peter as being a complete nerd and discovering his new powers, trying to deal with a childhood crush and dealing with his Uncle Ben's death. Moreover, with the arrival of the Green Goblin, terrorising the city and just laughing about it, Spider-Man has to find a way to deal with him along with his new powers.

With great power, comes great responsibility.



Spider-Man 2

This film explores the maturity of Peter Parker and his skills as a web-slinger and super hero. Now that Peter Parker is a hero, he also has to juggle that with education, living alone and trying to cope with everything all rolled into one, including a love for his childhood crush. With all this going on for Peter Parker, it's something he can just about bare with until he starts to loose faith in being a Hero.

The New villain this time around is one of Peter Parker's idols who accidentally merge tentacles to his back in a failed experiment that leaves him eight-limbed, crazy and a name called 'Doctor Octopus'.

Coincidently, this all happens when Spider-Man has "Retired" from being the friendly neighbourhood super hero. It is then up to Peter Parker to restore his faith, bring back the hero and save the city along with the girl in one huge swing.



Spider-Man 3

This is most likely the final from the Spider-Man films. However, in saying that.....They have managed to do a Die Hard 4 and it looks good. But you can only go so far, right?

This film has Peter loving and flourishing off the fame that spider-man has. Every man, woman and child of New York love spidey and they do a parade for him to honour his achievements. Whilst this is happening, Sandman, an escaped convict who accidentally got caught in a sand experiment, disrupts everything. Unless I wasn't paying attention, but the sand experiment was never explained in the film and seem to only serve the purpose of turning Marko Flint into a man of sand.

After battling the Sandman, Spidey becomes host to an alien symbiote which falls from the sky in which engulfs him, giving him a black suit and unleashes the darker and non-tolerant side of Peter Parker. His attitude is then flamboyant and vengeful to whomever upsets him, he would seek revenge in ways Peter Parker wouldn't have even dreamed of.

If that wasn't enough, Spidey has to deal with the New Goblin who wants Spider-Man dead and the new Alien Symbiote's host, Venom.



This film touches on a lot of things. Revenge, Love, Pain, Hate, anguish....EVERYTHING! The fighting scenes are seamless, fast and leave you in awe in anticipation on a 'how Spidey will get out of this one?' thought. However, in places, the action is slightly too fast in some places fully follow.



They had made Spider-Man 3 a more emotional story. Throughout the film a man or 12 is crying over something or the other and if that wasn't enough, there are some real cheesy bits in the film. Near the end where Spider-Man is swinging to the final few scenes and there is chaos happening and the people of New York are cheering for Spider-Man who then manages to swing and land in front of an American Flag which is basically behind him but takes up the whole background giving off this whole 'All American Hero' vibe which was so much cheddar cheese for me I thought someone was eating Wotsits or Cheetos.



All in all, Spider-Man 3 is a good watch in which, if you caught the opening Credits, you wouldn't need to see part 1 and part 2 before this as the images tell you the story so far. Fans of Venom would be slightly disappointed as his role was small in comparison to the other characters and could have easily have been edited out, for a Spider-Man 4 called Maximum Carnage. Bring in Venom and Carnage and we would have a worthy 4th film.

10 May 2007 at 06:50am

(Vintage Film Reviews) - Tom-Yum-Goong

I saw the Trailer to this recently and thought it was due to be out, but I believe they were re-releasing it under a different name.

This film is also know as 'Warrior King' over here, 'The Protector' in the US, 'Neak Prodal Junboth' in Cambodia and 'Honour of the Dragon' in the Netherlands. So don't work if you feel yourself talking about the same film with two different titles to your mate(s) as it actually has five.

For those who have seen 'Ong Bak' and hated it, then this is definitely not for you. But if you saw 'Ong bak' and liked it, this one is much, much better!


Just like 'Ong Bak' Tony 'Merkah Man' Jaa (my name for him by the time the film did finish) plays a Thai man named Kham, who is peaceful and calm until his Elephant's were stolen from his home and taken to Sydney (Australia). In Thailand, the natives respect elephants and regard them as close to family as normal people. These elephants are treated just like family. So then Kham sets out to find his Elephants.

The storyline is slightly dry, however, I do respect the values and morals behind it.
The film starts off with the friendship built between a young boy and an elephant and his father. This part of the film is dry. However, to understand why a man should receive a ‘flying knee to the face’, then this part of the film is imperative to watch.

Once the elephants go missing, that is when the action starts and when I say action, I mean, ‘kick a man in his face who is behind you and had just asked you, "have you ever received a foot in the face" and you don't even turned around to even address him’. That kind of action.

In some elements of the fighting scenes, you can see a thinner, faster and taller Jackie Chan. The guy is so nimble; there is a part where you see him slide through a 10cm slit in a fence. No effects, real.

For those who haven't see any Tony Jaa film, I’ll break it down briefly.
This guy moves fast, he is agile, and he will merk a man in one move. So in saying that, there are times in the film where it seems as if the director said "you, camera man, follow him, all you other fighters, just attack him". Because there is a part in the film where Kham runs into a building and the camera man follows him and Kham is just brucking up everyone who approaches him and there are no cut scenes at all. All in one take.

This is a superb film and I would say, if you want action with a tiny touch of comedy, like the bit where a woman is telling off her partner about buying pirate DVD’s, then you will love this film.
Otherwise, if you don't like fighting films, just watch the first couple of minutes because the rest of it is pure unadulterated one man kicks everyone’s arse throughout the whole film. And with a film like this, who needs a superb storyline?

12th December 2006 at 02:10pm

(Vintage FIlm Reviews) - The Covenant

This is a film brought to you by, Renny Harlin. The same guy responsible for a number of successful and non-successful films over the years such as, A Nightmare On Elm Street. 4, Die Hard 2, Cliffhanger, Cutthroat Island, The Long Kiss Goodnight, Deep Blue Sea and a few more.

I personally believe his work isn't that bad, viewable and entertaining, as most of the films I mentioned, I own and are decent films.

The Covenant is about 5 families that settled in the Ipswich colony of Massachusetts, in 1692 around the same time as the Salem Witch Trials. The families form a covenant of silence and were to never reveal their powers in public. However, one family had a desire and lust for more, so they were banished - their bloodline disappeared without a trace.

Over the years until now, the Covenant is now bound by the 4 Son's of Ipswich who are decedents of the families that moved to Ipswich in the late 1600s. They possess great supernatural powers, by right of their heritage and they are all students.

The problems they face with their Supernatural powers are, every time you use it, it gets more and more addictive. Kind of like, Crack. When they turn 18, they 'ascend' and their powers become much stronger meaning, once they are already 'addicted' they can abuse their power in which will be less controllable and in turn, in the long run, drain their youth and have them aging prematurely.

This film has good points and bad points.

The storyline could have been stronger. I felt some things in the film were to 'bait' or didn't add up.
The acting was fine and done very well by the 4 "brothers". Each character represented their role well as to how their personalities differ and how they clash with one another.
The special effects was brilliant and there was one bit with a Ford Mustang crashing into a trucking carrying tree-logs and upon impact, the car dissembles into bits around the truck then reassembles behind the truck all in one peace. My jaw was left open for a while.

Other than that really, the film was entertaining to watch, somewhat frightful as well, such as the spider scene (if you don’t like spiders, this scene will have you cringing) and the ending could have been worked on a touch more. There were some grimey fights, but it very much came across like Street Fighter II (the game) hyper special edition or whatever and at certain times I was just waiting for the 'Shouryuu Reppa' (dragon punch) or the 4 ‘Sons of Ipswich’ to breakout into a song, because for some reason, seeing the 4 of them altogether, they reminded me of the Backstreet Boys or some boy band.

Overall, this film gets a 7/10. Only for the quality of 3 scenes among the other tiny little bits that make up the film as well. The Mustang scene, The Spiders scene & The Dorm Room Deception part. Oh, and for the line where Sebastian Stan as Chase Collins asks Steven Strait as Caleb Danvers to be his ‘Wiatch’ (Replace the ‘W’ with a ‘B’ if you don’t understand). If those Bits weren't in the film, it would have received a 4 if that.

10th December 2006

(Vintage FIlm Reviews) - Battle Royal

First and foremost, this IS a Japanese film, so when watching it, you will not be surprised at what is going on at all.

The film is about a japanese school being so over-run over the years by bad students and not being able to achieve results. Students are either, not going to school by boycotting school or classes or when they do actually go in, they miss behave and get up to no good. Stealing, stabbing, mocking adults, you name it, these students are doing it.

To stop this and make improvements within the schools, the government launch a project called "Battle Royale".

Battle Royale is where teachers will take the bad students on a "School Trip", kidnap them to bring them onto a remote island for a game. When the game is complete after 3 days, is when you can go home. There's only one minor, minor, minor, minor, thing. Only ONE person can win the game. Sounds easy don't it? Well, it's not a game of Ludo or Connect 4 that's for sure. The winner must be the sole survivor of the game. So, if that means stabbing your best-friend, hubby or wifey in the neck with a pencil, then so be it.Indifferent



Each student is wearing an explosive necklace upon waking up and is given a bag of "goodies". In this bag contains your must-have survival tools. Bread, water, map, compass, torch and a weapon. However, for each student, their weapon's will vary. It could be a knife, gun, stick or pot lid. i know...kinda fuming if u got a wooden spoon and your confronted by someone with a cutlass.LMAO

When I first watched this, before anything properly got going, a girl was talking whilst the video was on in which she was meant to be paying attention to. She wasn't meant to be talking, but she was heard and instead of getting a warning, the teacher drew for something and she got a knife in her forehead from across the room, by the teacher. Her body jolted back a little, her body went stiff and she then dropped to the floor. The teacher basically wlaked up to her, stood on her and took out the knife and said, "back to the video".

At that moment in time, my mouth dropped and I was in such amazement, the only thing that came out my mouth was Musiccooold blooodedMusic.

The film is different to say the least. But you couldn't expect anything less from a Japanese film.

It is fresh, stylish, funny, bloody and slightly disturbing, when you think about it. The music plays a big part I feel in the film and also give the film a more comic edge to it, since what is going on is very much ridiculous and outlandish.

It also shows you if your best friend will have your back and protect you, or have your back bored with a knife and cut you. It's survival out there...sink or swim.

29th November 2006

(Vintage Film Reviews) Borat - Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan

Borat, full name Borat Sagdiyev is said to be born in July 30th 1972, who is a Kazakhstani Journalist who goes around to different cities and countries to learn from their culture to benefit his home country.

For those who do not know, Borat is a fictional character played by Sacha Baron Cohen, an English comedian.
Sacha's character Borat, first appeared on Da Ali G show, where Sacha also played Ali G among other fictionl characters. Setting up and arranging interviews with the public who ostensibly believe that the interviews are sincere and legitimate.

The Borat film 'Borat - Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan' is just that. DO not mistake this for a film and do not take the entire show seriously. This is indeed a Mocumentary that only (possibly) a handful of people know what is going on, but everyone else is totally obivious. In saying that, this is a documentary that will have repercussions as people do feel that the entire show is indeed sincere.

This low budget documentary takes the viewers on a journey with Borat from his home country of Kazakhstan to the United States. You get to see his country, his village and his neighbours. You then get to meet his family briefly before he ventures off to America.

We are then following Borat from New York where he lands, to California where he has plans to make Pamela Anderson his wife. On the journey, he visits a few states and meets a lot of different people along the way before returning home.

When watching this show, i was in a lot of shock/horror with my mouth partly opened and one hand over it. I couldn't believe what i was seeing in some scenes and in other scenes, i was in tears with laughter.

Borat makes a mockery out of all the people in such a way, most occasions the audience will find him funny and the people who are being mocked will either, 1 - get offended, 2 - laugh it off as they don't have a clue or 3 - go along with it.

The documentary has anti-semitism, racism, sexcism, homophobia, prejudices and all sorts throughout, but it is down to the individual to either laugh or cry.

This is most definately a documentary EVERYONE will need to watch at some stage in their life. I dont think many will find the whole documentary outrageously offensive, except maybe the people in the documentary, but this is most definitely a documentary to watch and own.

(Vintage Film Reviews) - The Grudge 2 (With The Grudge 1 in brief)

For those who haven't seen The Grudge, here is a short update.Yes

The Grudge is about Matthew Williams, who receives a promotion at work and moves to Tokyo with his family. His wife, Jennifer and his sister Susan, choose a house where they move to along with his ailing mother Emma.

A social worker, Yoko offers to help Emma with the cleaning around the house and she hears noises through her walkman, goes to investigate and then meets her demise.

As Yoko did not turn up the following day for work, another social worker is dispatched to cover for her and check on the house, (Sarah Michelle Geller) who plays Karen.

Upon arrival, she notices that Yoko’s bike is still parked up at the houseConfused, phones her boss to come over and as she is waiting for him with Emma who seems to be the only one left in the house, Emma starts talking as if she is talking to someoneIndifferent. Karen then asks her about it, when Emma says she wants her to leave her alone. Moreover, a noise of creaking floorboards are now heard and black hair starts to come down from the corner of the room and this is the arrival of Kayako, who then starts reaching for Emma but then notices Karen. As Kayako’s eyes are rolled back, they fall into place to “LOOK” at Karen and then Alex comes in to find Karen in shock starring at the ceiling and Emma dead on the floor.

Karen is then visited by a detective who asks her questions and then goes to the house to, yep, you’ve guessed it.

Karen then goes back to the house (like going there once and seeing a woman merge from the corner of the ceiling weren’t enoughIndifferent) to find out more, when she finds her boyfriend there looking for her. Kayako comes to get them and Karen attempts to burn down the house as her chosen method to remedy the situation. That is where the film ends.


The Grudge would swiftly get a 9/10 for it’s way to keep you jumping. I never knew of such a film that made me come out the cinema paro to go home.


The Grudge 2


The opening scene is set in Chicago with a trance-like, Trish (Jennifer Beals) cooking breakfast in the kitchen and Bill (Christopher Cousins), her husband is vex at her for not cooking his breakfast right.

The film then flips to Japan 2 years after the house was burned down with 3 school girls in an International High School, leaving to go home but end up being farse to stop in "the house". Although two of the girls, (Theresa Palmer) as Vanessa and (Misako Uno) as Muyuki, have heard about the house and tell Allison, who has just found new “friends” with these girls, does not know a thing and these girls decide to go into the house and pressure (Arielle Kabbel) as Allison, to close her eyes whilst in "the cupboard" and count to 10 to try and test the myth behind the house.

Allison who is already reluctant about the house goes into a cupboard?

The film then makes a transition to Karen's sister Aubrey (Amber Tamblyn), being called by a sickly Mother (Joanna Cassidy) to go and get Karen and bring her home as there has been an accident where she tried to burn down the house, kill her boyfriend and now she's in hospital.

This is where the film got confusing.

There are three parts to the movie. The beginning is the end and the school girls is the middle. The scene’s with Karen’s sister are after the events of the first Grudge film. So technically, you are watching, The Grudge 1.5 then The Grudge 2.Geeked

After being told not to go into the house, Aubrey goes into the house, meets a reporter/journalist who is trying to seek out the truth behind the house. She then goes on a journey to only then go back to the house later on and meet her curse.Huh?

Back to the beginning of the film, bearing in mind, is the end of the film; we have Jake (Matthew Knight), who has just moved into this new apartment with his father and step mother so he is just adjusting to the new surroundings when one night he hears a noise and he gets out of his bed. He then finds a figure being brought home by the couple down the hall and continues to Columbo his way to the truth.

The film ends with a sort of twist to bring the story together with Jake being scared out of his cranium with the figure in front of him who ends up being (haha…watch the film and see) and then after a lil brief conversation and a little “borrowing clothes” momentConfused, the film ends.Indifferent

The Grudge basically takes the biscuit. In my opinion, what makes The Grudge so chilling is the fact that, once you go into the house there is no escape from Kayako and Toshio.

29th November 2006 12:46am

(Vintage Film Reviews) - The Departed

This film stars 6 big actors from past to present. We have (1)Leonardo DiCaprio as Billy Costigan, who has most definitely left his whipped attitude from Titanic to the exact opposite.

We also have a (2) Matt Damon as Colin Sullivan who plays a streets smart, straight 'A' student who has graduated from the Cadet Police Academy.
Once graduated from the Cadets, Colin went to join the police force among many other Cadets, however, things aren't what they seem to be. Billy also goes to join the police force, but for what reason, as he was kicked out of the Cadets?

With such a clean history Colin, the straight 'A' student, joins the force as well as Billy. However, Billy has a turbulent and troublesome history so to think he wants to serve and protect is somewhat a joke! Nevertheless he is hired and then "fired" from the police force to then serve time in prison.

The villain is (3) Jack Nicholson as Frank Costello, who is the Irish Mafia Mob head honcho.



Can you imagine a ruthless Irish Mafia Mob boss who runs the city with an iron grip?
Can you imagine this happening over a long period of time and the police trying to bringing the mob down but no avail?
Can you imagine moles working in both units till things start to become apparent, that each unit has an enemy in it?
Which mole will discover the other mole first?
Which mole will have to Depart?



This is where everything gets tricky.

A mole is working for the police, but the police also have a mole in their Special Investigations Unit led by (4) Alec Baldwin as Ellerby, who is watching Costello's every move. This means, Costello is watching those who are watching him. Ellerby's boss is (5)Martin Sheen as Captain Queenan, who has contact with Costello's henchmen.

With both moles working deep undercover, both moles start to feel the pressure of living a double identity. As one climbs up the ladder in the Police force, the other starts to struggle with his job and how he hasn't had much help, so both moles jobs and lives are at risk.

Things get slightly more interesting and intriguing when Colin starts to date this psychiatrist then she moves in with him, but then when Colin is torn between work, loyalty and his girlfriend, Billy then comes into the picture and starts to see said psychiatrist for counselling.



It is a film of cat and mouse, Loyalty, Power, Decisions & Deception. The film has more twists than a telephone cord and some elements to the film make you think, "so, hold on a Minute!?!". I felt the story did drag a little in the middle to justify the longevity of the "Get Costello" project, but it is well written, smart and edgy and will definitely keep you entertained throughout, especially, the final scenes.

All starring actors which also includes a very very very aggy (6)Mark Walburg as Dignam, Queenan right hand man with a permanent chip on his shoulder, play their parts very well.

29th November 2006 12:14am

(film - review) - Wolfman

Well, first things first, this isn't TeenWolf at all! For those who remember Michael J Fox casting aside his time machine called the Delorian to don a suit of fur and play Basketball in a vary watchable film of my era? Although Teenwolf was for kids, Wolfman is more like an extreme version of 'An American Werewolf in London' in which, basically claws through that and the film 'Wolf' with Jack Nickolson like a werewolf surrounded by 3000 brown paper bag covered mannequins scented with human meat. Or maybe I need to see these films again - I admit, it has been a while.

If you don't like blood and gore, stay well away. Not to say it was as bad as watching SAW 10, but even I had cover my mouth in Shock-Horror. I usually find severed heads, limbs, bodies, funny and admit, in this film I did, but this film was different somewhat.

Benicio Del Toro, I like him. He's a decent actor. I haven't actually seen Che as yet, but the few films I have seen him in, he has played the characters well. He gets into an entanglement involving the death of his savagely slain brother. Town goers believe the murder(s) to be done by a mad man, wile others feel it's supernatural. As he tries to investigate, he gets caught up with his brother's wife, a Police Detective named, Aberline who is somewhat certain that he is the killer due to his troubled past and being tormented by the death of his mother doesn't make things easy. However with the help of his father played by Anthony Hopkins, the truth is bound to come to light.

Like all werewolf films, you know how it is going to end. The silver bullet. Other than that, I can't really go into much of the film other than tell you that you know exactly hat is going to happen, but you will actually jump in certain parts and if not, the person you are watching it with will.

The special effects weren't bad and the acting was decent. My only gripe with the film was, if it wasn't that predictable and the zipper suit looked more "authentic" I would have said this was a superb film, but then, how do you use special effects without over doing it? Van Helsing comes to mind.

Movie film. Go and Watch it.

(film review) The Book of Eli

As we love these, this is another Post-Apocolyptic film for my reviews, however this one isn't about rabid Zombies pulling limbs and flesh off and trying to eat people alive, this is about a book. Sounds a bit boring really. I mean who wants to see a film about a book? But then again, they made a film about a ring and that was around 9hrs long AND they are doing 2 prequels. I digress.

Watching this film, I couldn't help but think of Mad Max mixed with something else...I just can't think of the other film right now, but the desert, the vehicles (a little), you know. The action was decent, in fact, the action was excellent if you watch the whole film and think about all the action again.

It all starts with 'The Walker' (Denzel Washington) who basically shows you how it is like without McDonalds, KFC, Wimpy, Ihop or Wendy's being around. We also see how he basically survives from night to night and how he keeps a cool head with a no-nonsense attitude letting nothing get in his way while he 'WALKS' West. He is a man on a mission and so is Carnegie (Gary Oldman)who plays 'The Bad Guy' in the film, who sends goons that cannot even read to look for a specific book. Pointless, I know.
The point of the whole film is that, The walker protects the book while he is trying to get to somewhere and Carnegie wants the book as it is believed by him to hold such a significant "Power" that, the town he already oversees, he is able to construct more and gather more people and, well, basically rebuild the world since the last World War basically destroyed much of it, so it is believed.

The Walker walks into Carnegie's town and realising that The Walker can read and has a book in his possession, all hell breaks loose while Carnegie stops at nothing to retrieve this book.

The pacing of this film isn't that bad. If your tired, you might just fall asleep. Not saying it's boring but the action isn't consistent. So in a moment when a bird is flying in the air or the walker is ransacking buildings, you might fall asleep as it's not THAT interesting, but if you watch carefully, tells a lot about the film.

A lot of things were said about this film before I saw it. I heard it's good, I heard it's rubbish and well, it's one of those films you'll need to watch it again. What makes me laugh, is that at the end of the film, it throws in a huge 'WTF' in your face which makes you rethink the whole film. I mean the twist compels me to watch it again, but unfortunately, this isn't a GREAT film in which you can watch over and over and over again, so I'm not in a hurry. Maybe once or twice....maybe 3 times at max, but then that's about it. Not a grammy award winner or a film that will stand out in Denzel Washington's career. Although in saying that, his acting was good and he may go to do more films in which he does more fighting, but other than all that, The Book of Eli is a decent watch.
I'd say watch it and don't listen to what other people think of the film. Watch it with a clear head, expect anything and be very observant. Out Now!!!

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(film review) - Ninja Assassin

After watching this film, you'd wish you was a ninja, no lie! You will think that they are the coolest type of people ever. If you think of a ninja, you usually come up with, a guy in pyjama's running around in flip-flops with his face covered up and nothing but his eyes showing with a long sword in his hands and occasionally doing the odd run up the wall and disappearing acts with a puff of smoke. Well, Ninja Assassin is like, all of that on steroids. I'll explain.

Raizo (Rain) is a child being raised by the Ozunu Clan who are to the world, nothing but a myth. Growing up in the temple where they train young children to be deadly ninjas, rain was subjected to a lot of discipline and training which left him with scars all over his body and nurtured him into being one of the worlds deadliest Special Forces Ninja Assassins.
When Mika Coretti (Naomie Harris), a Europol Agent starts to investigate political murders that are linked to the Ozunu Clan, not only does she steal files to find out more about this mysterious clan, the clan find out and come out of the shadows, literally and make an attempt to assassinate her before the truth comes to light.

So the story sounds a little far fetched, I mean who believes in Ninja's that come out the shadows and use death-stars, booo. Yeah, well, after this film you might want to keep away from shadows as these guys do not hang about and they do not play.
The fight scenes are enough to keep you on the edge of your seat and watching hoping to see more ninja activity. There were times when I was watching thinking to myself, these are NINJAS your shooting at, are you dumb? But I guess ninjas are trained to be a certain way, but doesn't make them not human. In addition to the fight scenes, most were in a dark surrounding/environment which made it slightly hard to follow and special effects used to a degree that the fight scenes may not have looked as real if done in a lighter setting. I'm not saying they were hiding the strings, but the dark settings added to the atmospheric feel and well, a ninja wouldn't attack you in broad daylight as it would defeat their purpose, I guess.
There is a lot of blood too, a lot of it. So much deep red blood spilling, pouring and spitting out of joints, limbs and flesh, I thought I was watching a Vimto add for a moment.

The film is a decent film to watch and there are funny bits and I guess you kind of know how the story will go and how it will end, but who has seen people come out of the shadows and keep people then disappear back into the shadows like they were never there before on film? Or Bullets VS Death-stars?
If you like martial arts movies, a cheesy storyline and a lot of action, then this is your movie. And remember what I said at the beginning, you'd want to be a ninja after viewing this.

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(film review) - Precious

This film is based on a novel written by Sapphire, a American author and performance poet. It was originally called "Push" until Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey gave it some promotional assistance and released it through Lions Gate Entertainment and named it Precious.

Claireece Precious Jones (Gabourey Sidibe) is an 16 year old, born and raised in Harlem who not only is obese and illiterate, she also suffers from long term mental and physical abuse as well as sexual abuse from both her parents. She has already had a daughter named "Mongo" for short and on news of her second child on the way, her school suspend her to attend an alternative school in hopes to help change her life's direction. From this point, Precious tries to seek assistance and do better for herself with the help of her teacher (Paula Patton) until more family domestics lead to precious leaving home and being stuck in a halfway house until she gets back on her feet. The film shows us of Precious' daily struggles of being who she is and the traumatic experiences she has undergone through her life.

Without spoiling the film as it is a very good watch and maybe a little much for a Sunday morning (the day I saw it), the film didn't grab me as much as I thought it would. The trailer for the film was upsetting enough to watch and the film is equally the same, however, I did honestly think I'd leave the cinema with tears streaming down my face. I put that down to the fantasy land and narration precious gives throughout the entire film. As Precious is always in another world to help escape from a possible traumatic experience in the real world, it does make up and water down some of the scenes/film making them easier to view. I haven't read the novel myself but I have heard that the novel is very graphic and maybe this is the reason why some scenes were watered down to make for easy viewing. Hence the reason I didn't cry.

I can't say much about this film as I have already said enough and it is definitely a film to watch or read. It is sad, funny and I guess at the end, you may even smile, but the film on a whole is a film in which you may need to prepare yourself for before viewing. Some of the scenes that they do show are pretty graphic, but I do believe it could have been worse and more touching, like pulling on the heart strings and play on the audiences emotion levels.

If you can find this film out now anywhere....make sure you go and see it.
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(film review) - 44 Inch Chest

To me, this wasn't a gangster film. I guess it had most of the elements of one, but fell short on, well, some real gangster stuff.
I'll explain, this film is like Reservoir Dogs. It is all based in one room like it however, this has more to do with the trials, tribulations and torment of a broken man.

Colin Diamond (Ray Winstone) is a gangster, but becomes jealous of the fact that his wife, Liz, has left him for a younger, leaner, more handsome, French guy. Struck in a fit of Rage, Colin is found distraught on the floor of his home where he is found laying there by pal, Archie (Tom Wilkinson), who then tells other pals, Old Man Peanut (John Hurt), Mal (Stephen Dillane) and Meredith (Ian McShane) to help put the puzzle together of their mate, Colin and help him get himself together and take revenge on Liz's Loverboy (Melvin Poupaud).

The film for me was different and excellent. There isn't one film I can think of that touches on the love a man has for his misses and what is going through his head at the time he finds out she's cheated on him, his initial reaction, after his reaction and the cause and affect of his reactions in so much detail. He goes barmy. Drinks alcohol as it is water and then starts hallucinating crazy things and starts to get paranoid and thinks that everyone (all his mates) have been sleeping with his wife too.

This film questions Love. What it is. What people would do for love. What people can do to destroy love. How people treat love and how love can destroy someone's very being. I felt that the film was too 'on point'. Sometimes you fall out of love, find someone new, but if someone is still in love with you, the affects it has is madness and even literally.

The film was very well written and acted out. Every character was wicked. My favourite was Old Man Peanut as I found him hilarious and as for Meredith, the dark and sinister poof, he was really good.
I don't want to spoil this film for anyone as I do feel you do have to watch it for yourself before you give judgement. I'd just like to say, it's an English film and a gangster film, but just without the gangster ish! It's different to Lock, Stock, Snatch and This Is England as this is in a different league. However, I do think it's a film more for the men.

If you want something English, something real in which you can possibly relate to and something that is well written and acted out, then this will definately be your film!
Go out and see it when it comes out!
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(film review) - A Prophet(Un prophete)

First and foremost, I can't stand subtitled films. It highly irritates me that I have to read whilst I watch what is going on. I also feel that if I take my eyes off the centre of the screen to read the writing at the bottom of the screen, something will past through the center of the screen or anywhere else on the screen but the bottom of it where the writing is and I'd miss it. The only saving grace in subtitled films and the English language is, when foreign people are talking, it sounds like 1000 words being said when all they are saying is, "Hello", so for a slow reader like me who is reluctant to read in case he misses something, finds gratification, somehow. Anyway, please industry, no more subtitled films....or get decent voice overs damnit!

Anyway, now that I got that off my chest, this film is French and is my first review on a non-english film. And dispite the subtitles, I did manage to follow this ever so long film. Yes, it is bluddy long. I wasn't prepared for it at all. Over 2hrs I spent reading subtitles.
Hmmm, this film is about a young man who is half Arab and also unable to read or write who is sentenced to 6 years in prison. Although he tries to stand up for himself, his first day is no walk in the park as he gets approached, beaten up and mugged for his footwear. In the beginning he struggles to cope with prison life until he is taken under the wing of a group of Corsicans with leader Cesar Luciani (Niels Arestrup) who "run" the prison how they see fit and swear to protect him throughout his time inside. Whilst inside Malik El Djebena(Tahar Rahim) learns how to work, learn different languages, learn how to read and write, toughen up and start to build his own network of alies under the quiet and earn is own respect.

Being a subtitled film, there wasn't a GREAT deal to read I guess, so i was able to catch everything that was said. This helped me keep up with the visuals which lasted over 2 hrs of watching time in which I'm sure they could have cut down. The storyline was a little slow and it was a little confusing to follow why some things were how they were. An example would be, the guy kills another guy in the film to stop him from being a witness of some sort in court, however, after he is dead, he is seen as a ghost(in normal human/solid form) in which the guy speaks to from time to time. I didn't get it, what was his purpose. Another thing I didn't get was the types of characters in the film and what seemed to be the politics in the film as well. Was it based on society in France and how some cultures are viewed or what? Another confusing element was the fact that, your watching this man sleeping, it looks like he's dreaming and fighting in his sleep and all of a sudden, Deers are running. The fact that we saw deer's in the following scene didn't really seem to hold any bearing to the first time we saw them. The fact that Malik El Djebena is called a prophet due to this, didn't give the name much grounds as he hadn't foreseen anything else in the film before or even after. Crazy and a little weird.

This film was only just enjoyable due to the fact that I can't stand subtitle films and there was a lot of action in it. The prison he was in was in such a state, it made me wonder if some prisons were actually like this. TV's in your cell, sex on call and getting beaten up or shanked or giving blowjobs for payment on the selling of drugs within the walls of the prison. And what made it worse, Djebena had day releases from prison and he was on a whole different adventure all in 12 hrs from his release time and his due back time. It was very entertaining to watch but just a little difficult to follow.
Out Soon!
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(film review) - Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll

It's been a while since I've seen the very talented and sexy Naomie Harris (corr), but she is back in a film that is a biopic of Ian Dury, the frontman and lead singer of British Band, Ian Dury and the Blockheads.
This film will not appeal to everyone as biopics are about people you follow or know of or about. If you know nothing about these people, you might find it either interesting or boring or might not even get the whole film altogether by switching off at some point and glaring at the screen until you see the credits. This film was a whole new experience for me and was also interesting, I'll explain my reasons why.

I had no idea who Ian Dury was let alone know who or what a blockhead is. His reign was before my time living, so I can only say, that I was in for a surprise nonetheless. The fact that Naomie Harris was starring in the film, that alone left me content and help make for easy viewing.

Ian Dury lived from 1942 - 2000 and died of metastatic liver cancer at age 57. Through his life he was battling with the debilitating disease of polio which had an effect on his lifestyle and his relationships with people around him. This is the main focal point of the film.
The film shows Dury (Andy Serkis) trying to make it as the lead singer of his band but failing badly. A lot of the failures were due to lack of focus and his attitude towards fellow band members. His personal battle with polio and his schooling, I feel often haunted him which made him act the way he did. Whilst being married to Betty (Olivia Williams), he fell for Denise (Naomie Harris) in which he got her to be the driver and manager of the band. He got to know her on a personal level and even lived with her whist still being married. However, his relationship with her was also as rocky as his marriage. As he was looking for that hit song, he was also trying to be a father to his two children in which he weren't around a lot.
Ian Dury and the Blockheads got their hit song and a string of hits in the end and started to rise to fame. In 1977, one of their many hits were called "Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll" in which the film's title derived from.

Without going into so much about the film, I actually enjoyed it. It was a decent watch although it did seem a little weird in places. Like I said, I didn't know who he was and like I also said, this film may not be for you at all, but the film had enough sex and real life drama's in it to keep me entertained. (Plus, I'm damn sure I saw Naomie Nipple. Mmmmm.) It wasn't an Eastenders storyline at all, far from it, but it was good to learn about someone I never knew of or about who made something of his life despite his disability. It shows that, if you have that drive, you can get what you want if you remain driven.

This is a fan film. For the fans. I watched it to learn who he was and because Naomie Harris was in it. So, if your a fan, you should enjoy this. Maybe you could explain the stupidly abrupt ending at the end which left me as baffled as a Nun waking up in a mental institution's cell.

Sound good? Then go watch it. Out Now!
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(film review) - Sherlock Holmes

Robert Downey Jr. is on a role. After disappearing for a while as he has been in and out of trouble with the police and rehab for substance abuse issues, I do believe he is choosing good roles and he is on top form. If you haven't seen 'The Soloist', I suggest you go see it. But not only that film, he has been in 'The Incredible Hulk' and not only 'Iron Man 1' but the second instalment is out later on this year and the trailer looks excellent.

Sherlock Holmes, directed by Guy Ritchie is not your normal Sherlock Holmes. Guy Ritchie has injected his 'COOL' into this character. The same kind of COOL he injected in other films such as 'Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels', 'Snatch' & 'RocknRolla'. This film has you look at Sherlock Holmes as a strangely random and unorthodox genius. To me, Sherlock Holmes came across as batty. Batty being a bit crazy. However, with his acute eye for detail and his intelligence, his batty behaviour can only be described as someone who is so intelligent, that they often think at a rapid speed that their behaviour seems a little crazy for the onlooker.

Sherlock Holmes(Robert Downey Jr.) and his partner, Dr. John Watson(Jude Law) race to stop a human sacrifice conducted by Lord Blackwood(Mark Strong). With reason's to believe that Lord Blackwood practices sorcery the police imprison him and before they hang him, Lord Blackwood tells Holmes that 3 more deaths will occur after his excution. Dr. Watson pronounces Lord Blackwood dead, but 3 days later, they find his coffin smashed open and the body of a red haired Midget inside instead of Blackwood. Sherlock Holmes along with Dr. Watson must now try and piece together all the bits and pieces surrounding a red haired midget, Lord Blackwood, his sorcery, holmes' ex-acquaintance, her employer and a plot that will change the world forever.

I didn't know what to expect from this film. In all honesty, the trailer kind of portrays something else than what you actually see, but what you actually see is not what you actually expect. So in saying that, what you actually expect is something that, not only doesn't fit the film's trailer, but also doesn't fit the film, however, the film still comes across as watchable and enjoyable.

Sherlock Holmes in my eyes is a Deerstalker wearing, Pipe smoking detective with a partner who is a doctor, but in this version, he is a witty, intelligent and fast thinking detective with an acute eye for detail and nose for smells, who has a brotherly-love type of relationship with Dr. Watson who in his spare time does a spot of bare knuckled boxing. On the other hand Dr. Watson is also smart but comes across as a bit of a ruffian thug. I couldn't help thinking whilst watching the film that Dr. Watson, although he is a doctor, how comes he seems to enjoy fighting people? Throughout the film, it just seemed that Dr. Watson couldn't get enough of having a bit of a punch-up. You see in this film that, one cannot survive without the other.

How Guy Ritchie directs this film, you see the Guy Ritchie in it and if you do like Guy Ritchie films, you will definitely like this. It's Smart, Witty and funny. I do feel that it could have been a lot darker and sinister and possibly longer with a bit more action and twists, but what was seen was good and enjoyable. It even ended with the possibility of a sequel.

Go and see this film. In Cinema's NOW!
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